It’s been four years since my best friend died. Sue was only 51. One day she was a singing and laughing and the next she was severely sick with pancreatic cancer. She only lived a few days after that.
Sue and I met at kindergarten when we were both three years old. She was an individual who did things her own way including never really wanting to grow up. She didn’t take herself too seriously but that doesn’t mean she didn’t take responsiblity. She was always thinking of others. All in all she was unique, a special lady with an infectious smile.
I’ve lost a few people since then. Two more friends, Tony (my mentor), our first grandchild, Connor (who was born prematurely) and most recently my mother, Mary.
When I was out walking this afternoon with the winter sun behind me , it cast a long shadow ahead of me. In my meditative state it spoke to me of my future, a future of unknown possibilities. It also caused me to think of the past and all the wonderful people that I have known and loved.
I grieve for my losses but have also learned that this is what living is about. Life lives us and then we die. My depression is not about my grief but my grief is a tender spot in my depression. It is all part of my journey. I am learning and growing, and sometimes it really hurts.