Te Moata Retreat provides an ideal place for reflection and meditation. Insights come; sometimes joyful, often surprising and occasionally over-whelming. This time it was my tiny lost grandson who came to visit my heart.
Connor is the son of Jacqui and Matt. He was born, lived and died on 3 February 2013. This week we would have celebrated his 2nd birthday. This is my letter to him.
What do I do with all the love and sadness I have for you? I placed your wee soul at the labyrinth on my last visit here to Te Moata. Now I am back again, and your spirit is still there, as strong as ever.
I want to play with you, cuddle you and hear you call my name ‘Nana Leigh’. I was to show you the world and watch you sleep. I want Jacqui and Matt to experience the joy of your being.
Your death has created more love in my heart and is mixed with the Iove given to me by Sue, Basil and Mary. My capacity to love is stronger and wider as a result.
Sitting here at Te Moata I feel the love and joy you gave us from the moment we knew you existed. It will always be there.
Today I will lay a fern leaf on the labyrinth for you. That leaf will be washed by the rain and blown by the wind and it will remind me of the great circle of life, connected by living and dying, on-and-on infinitely.
I am forever your loving ‘Nana Leigh’ and you will always be my first grandchild!