So what is this all about, expecting ourselves to be perfect, not to make mistakes and to be successful.
Looking back my parents had very high standards for themselves and their children. (Be polite, work hard and don’t rock the boat.) So much so that when my dear elderly mother developed dementia, one of the things that most angered her was that she could no longer maintain her public face of controlled grace. It was sad to see her suffer.
One theory I’ve heard is that it is a defence mechanism. If we have high expectations of ourselves then we are sheltered from criticism from others. No one can be harder on us than ourselves, right?
The truth is that we don’t know what perceptions other people have of us, when there is no way to get inside their mind. So why do we keep up this effort? Is it habit, conditioning or pride?
My current journey involves letting go of my conditioning, knowing who I really am and living in the now.